The Unforgiving Servant

 One of the reasons I believe the Bible is the Word of God is how practical it is in “real life”.

The parable of the unforgiving servant, in Matthew 18, describes a man who owes his master 10,000 talents and cannot pay.  He begs his master for time to pay and his master instead tells him that his entire debt is forgiven, wiped out.  The newly debt-free servant goes out and sees a fellow servant who owes him 100 denari and demands payment.  That servant gives the same speech that the first one had given: give me more time and I will pay.  But the first servant has the second thrown in jail.  The master hears of this and revokes his magnanimity, having the wicked servant thrown in jail “to be tortured until he should pay back all that he owed.”

Jesus ends with “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”  

If you don’t have the talent or the denari on your currency exchange, a denari was worth one day’s labor, so the second man owed the first about three months’ labor.  A talent was worth 20 years of labor, so the first servant owed the master 200,000 years’ labor.  For perspective, scientists estimate that humankind has existed in total for about 100,000 years. We might say that God is willing to forgive the debt of every man, woman and child who ever lived, twice over.  

Recently, I have been burned by someone I trusted.  I find myself thinking of this parable often these days.  What does it mean to me that I have been forgiven by God?  How does that impact my willingness to forgive others?  How should it?

I cannot find the term “forgive and forget” anywhere in the Bible.  That seems to be reserved for God who casts our sins “as far as the East is from the West (Psalm 103:12)” and “remember (them) no more (Jer 31:34)”.  Instead, Jesus commanded us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.  He did not say to treat everyone like a friend, because, as JRR Tolkien wrote, “It needs but one foe to breed a war, not two… And those who have not swords can still die upon them.”

I am working out the difference between forgiving, that is, not seeking revenge, and reconciliation.  Forgiveness, we can and must do, regardless of whether the other person shows any contrition.  Reconciliation requires real work from both parties.  I believe I have forgiven my friend that burned me, though sometimes, I must admit, it still smarts and I have to forgive him again.  I have taken him aside and spoken with him, one on one, about how I see things.  He was unmoved.  He is not a Christian, so I cannot count on him to understand forgiveness and reconciliation.  As such, I believe that the Bible says that forgiving him is enough.  Perhaps one day, he will come to Jesus and he and I can heal our relationship.  I will pray for him.  

I hope I am striking the right balance with my friend.  I hope he will find God's forgiveness. I hope you might find this instructive.  I hope.  I hope.