Forgiveness

 Forgiveness and reconciliation - In theory, this is the one thing I think the Catholic Church does better than any other denomination.  The priest takes confession and, ideally, encourages the penitent person to seek out the offended party and make amends.  In the Episcopal Church, where every week, we say a general confession of sin, a truly lovely 400-year-old prayer, followed by a general and total absolution from the minister.  We may or may not think about the words.  Personally, I can say I rarely consider a specific sin I need to confess to someone.  We are careful to ask for forgiveness before receiving communion, as is proper. But are we really asking for forgiveness?

That is the problem with the Book of Common Prayer in the Episcopal Church, or with any prayer that is written down.  It is possible to believe that by saying the printed prayer and receiving the general absolution, you have been forgiven your sins.  But you have not confessed to the person you offended, not offered an apology, not atoned for your mistake and made no change to your behavior (repented).  The BCP is a wonderful tool, if it is used correctly.

Just after the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus says, IF we forgive others, God will forgive us, but if we do not, God will NOT forgive us (Matt 6:14-15).  This makes our salvation seem conditional on works.  But Salvation by God’s Grace alone, through Faith.  I reconcile the two in that our willingness to forgive shows whether we appreciate the Grace that God has given.  To understand the price that Jesus paid on the Cross to pay the penalty that I owe and be unmoved by that is evidence that we do not know Him, and that He will say to us on Judgment Day, “Away from me, evildoer, I never knew you.”  

Do I make it a practice to go and find the person you’ve hurt and ask for forgiveness?  If someone hurts you, do I harbor resentment?  Seek revenge?  Or offer forgiveness?  The fourth option, letting it go, often is really harboring resentment.  Eventually resentment builds to where someone gets an outsized response to a minor infraction.  

In Luke 7, Jesus offered forgiveness to Simon the Leper even though Simon had not only shown no sign of remorse, but had continued to offend Him.  When the soldiers were nailing Him to the Cross, he begged God to forgive them.  If we claim to follow Jesus, this is the example he set.

Forgiveness, letting go of the anger and hurt in our own heart, can be one-sided.  Should the other party hold onto their bitterness, we owe them love, but not friendship.  That is, we must be aware of the fact that they may seek revenge on us.  Justice is good.  Revenge is bad, and it can be tempting to slip from one to the other.  But if we owe a debt, allowing someone to batter us repeatedly can easily go too far.  Jesus said to love our enemies, not to treat everyone like they are friends.  God will "forgive and forget". We only need to forgive.

My point is that many churches, including my own, talk about forgiveness but seem to brush over its practice, when it should be at the very heart of Faith.  I love the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.  I have been forgiven a debt that I cannot possibly repay in a thousand lifetimes of servitude.  My debt has been completely wiped clean.  If I cannot turn around and offer a little grace to someone who has offended me, then this is what I can expect to hear (Matthew 18:21-45 is the whole parable):  “‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”