The Disciple Jesus Loved

Who is the “Disciple Jesus Loved”?  It is widely held that John was referring to himself. 

Here are the reasons that makes sense.  One, John lived the longest of the Twelve, and would have been the only one of them to care for Jesus’ mother (John 19).  Two, since John lived so long, it makes sense that a rumor might grow that he would never die (John 21).  Three, on the theory that John was so young at the time, the Romans would have allowed him to stand before the Cross.  And four, most believe that Jesus held the Last Supper only with the Twelve, so it must have been one of them.  As well, there is a shrine where Jesus’ mother is said to have spent her final days in Ephesus.  If she was entrusted to John’s care, she would have died where he did.

Here are the reasons it might not be John. John may tell us who he is referring to in 11:3 “So (Mary and Martha) sent a message to Him: “Lord, the one You love is sick.”  That is Lazarus.  Would Mary and Martha be so bold as to presume to say that without Jesus having said it first?  There is no record of him saying it, but he put only one person’s name into any of his parables:  Lazarus.  (And yes, he is the hero of that parable.)

The Last Supper took place in a room large enough for 120 people (Acts 1).  If Jesus’ brother Judas was there (maybe - see John 14:22), it makes sense that many others could have been there as well, including Lazarus.  

It is strange for Jesus to entrust his mother to the care of a teenager.  But Lazarus was wealthy (enough that Mary could “waste” that expensive nard) and would have been a sensible choice.  And while John was too young to be a threat by attending Jesus’ execution, Lazarus was probably too old to be.  The question becomes, was he too old to care for Mother Mary?  

Where did Mother Mary die?  The house in Ephesus was first thought to be Mary’s sometime in the 19th century.  However, there is also a shrine in Bethany, very near to Lazarus’ tomb, where Mary is said to have been laid to rest that was first built in the 5th century.  There are some writings as early as the first century that refer to her dying in Gethsemane.  And a church leader from Ephesus in the 13th century describes his visit to Mary’s tomb in Bethany.  

The false humility of John referring to himself in the third person seems un-Christian.  However, as John and James angled to sit as Jesus’ left and right hand when he became King, humility was not natural to John, at least early in his life.

And lastly, there is the question of John 21.   It seems unlikely the disciples would think a teenager would not die.  However, if this was Lazarus, he had already died once so it seems a legitimate question as to whether he would die a second time.  

Now I know several of my readers have been to Ephesus and prayed at Mary’s home there.  Even if Mary never actually lived there, which she may well have done, any prayers offered there have been heard and answered by our Heavenly Father, all the more if made on a pilgrimage.  Further, a place people gather to pray is holy and sacred.  If that is not really Mary’s house, it would not be the first time a holy relic turned out not to be what it was purported to be.  But that does not negate the spiritual connections one may have experienced there.

Why do we care who John is referring to?  It is important to approach God’s Word without a preconceived notion of what it says.  “You can’t learn anything if you think you know it all already.”  I often go to experts for help interpreting His Word, but we must take those as flawed humans and not (necessarily) inspired, as we hold the Bible to be.  Most theologians I have read will state definitively that they have the correct interpretation of God’s Word.  This seems most dangerous to me, and particularly un-Christian.  It is something I am working to avoid in my own thinking and writing.  Whether I have been at all successful in that, I shudder to think.  (You may even be surprised to read that!)  

Maybe there is a reason John doesn’t say specifically who it is.  Maybe the disciple Jesus loves is YOU.